....

I'm not feeling well these days, I can't stop thinking about my problems. Well, I'm that type of person, I want to kill my feelings. It's better that way. The me now, I can't trust anyone. I only believe in my family and myself. It's better to count on yourself than to other people right. I'm tired of myself, it feels like the one who cause many problems is me, myself because of my negative thinking type of mind, I never live peacefully these days. I want to kill my feelings, I'll only love my family and myself. You know why? Because people change, when I was in grade 7 I'm really happy. That was the time when I was close to one of my friends, which I call her my best friend. I really2 love her and I think that we would be able to keep our friendship till we're old but people do change. I never thought that we're not close anymore even though we're still in grade 9. Our friendship only last 2 years. We're not in a fight now, but something interrupted our friendship. It's just a hobby, that's the problem. We had different types of liking and there was also the time when I felt awkward around her. Then I talk to her about it, and we made up but she found some people with the same type of liking like her so I think she's closer to them than to me. Maybe because we didn't know what to talk about but still, she's different than the one I know before. I know that our relationship won't came back. I already tried to understand her, but it seems like it's only me who love her. I don't think she feels the same way about me. To be honest, I still love her but I don't know how to express it. People change, you can't trust people, that's the thing I know. You can't predict people, I'm also aware of that. There was also the time when I love this woman because she's wise and all but you know she's betraying my mother and I don't predict that a person like her would do that. I've experiences many things and they're just unpredictable. I never expect good people like them to do that. I only trust my family because I know that they won't do such things. They know me so well, but people out there, they just don't know about me and my real character. There was also this problem, there was one person whom I can't describe her. She's just to weird, she acts according to her mood, and always seems to mad at me without reasons. That's weird, and I always feel uneasy about it. Oh please!! I just want to kill my feelings, live a peaceful life, and do my missions in school! I don't need to fall in love and that kind of troublesome relationship for now. I'm sure the time will come later when I will find someone whom I love and trust. Later when I grow up, I'm sure. For now I just need to study well. Friends are only friends, they come and go. I won't be with them forever and I can choose whether I want to be friends with them or not but for parents, I can't choose. I'm lucky to have been born in this kind of family. They're loving and full of laughs. Well, I need friends but I don't want to be close to them. I want to do things by myself but they have to respect and be at peace with me, that's what I want. I have to learn to do things to protect myself, doing things by myself, and count on myself. The only things in this world you can trust the most is yourself and your family (different for each person). How can I make people respect me and be at peace to me? I'll find the answer. First I need to kill my feelings and less caring about other people. It doesn't matter what they say or think about me. Like the hell I care about that! I don't give a damn for such things It's not important. What's important to me is the present and my future, about how can I make a happy and peaceful life. A good future still waiting for me.

Rilakkuma Stuffs

You know I'm a really2 big fan of rilakkuma they're so cute XD I even use a rilakkuma pencil case hahaha and the chick that always hang out with rilakkuma is also cute >.< I really want them!!

Awawawaaaa so cute! >.<
I will buy all of them if I can T_T is it only in Japan? I really want them >.<
This picture below really makes me jealous -_- I really2 want a room like that! Kyaaahh!!

SuJu Facts (Kyuhyun)

* Kyuhyun was bedless for 8 months in the dorms

* Kyuhyun loves watching historical drama, such as Jumong

* Kyuhyun probably won't join the military because of his health 

* "Ah.....Me and my popularity" -Kyuhyun

* Kyuhyun's favourite colours are black and white

* As you know, Kyuhyun's favourite game is Starcraft

* Kyuhyun won a medal in math olimpiade when he was in senior high school

* Kyuhyun dislikes vegetables

* Kyuhyun likes short-haired girls

* Kyuhyun can't cook well and added sesame oil instead of adding cooking oil when he tried to fry ham

* Kyuhyun's favourite SJ's songs are Believe and Disco Drive

* Kyuhyun's favourite foods are seafood and pork cheap

* Kyuhyun is the only member who was included in MNet's top 20 lists of best male vocalists in Korea in 2008

* Kyuhyun snores when he sleeps

* Kyuhyun's eyes are near-sighted and he likes to wear contact lenses or glasses

* If Kyuhyun is interviewed, he always says that he usually spends his time by reading, then other members will disagree with it

* When Kyu was schooling, he told his friends that he hadn't allowed to go outside, so he could play games at home

* Kyu wanted a bigger Christmas present so he hung his pants in front of his bed instead of hanging his socks

* Kyuhyun doesn't like to show his stomach because he has a scar after the accident

* After the car accident, Kyuhyun lost 20kgs



Here's the facts about Kyuhyun :D *again* sorry I really idolize him XD

SuJu Facts (Eunhyuk)

* Eunhyuk is extremely protective over his laptop. He doesn't let anyone to touch it. He always changes his password

* Eunhyuk auditioned at the same time with Junsu and was rejected. He auditioned again a year later and was accepted

* Eunhyuk is one of the easiest criers in SJ

* Eunhyuk is very shy around girls. The member said that when he's alone with a girl, he won't hold her hand

* Eunhyuk's favourite colours are white, blue, beige, and grey

* Australia, Japan, and Egypt are countries that Eunhyuk wants to visit the most

* Eunhyuk eats the most among all SJ members

* Eunhyuk has a dog named Choco

* Eunhyuk loves strawberry and orange fruits

* Eunhyuk is very easy to be lied

* When Hyuk first met Geng, he told Geng that his name was WonBin. Geng believed and called him 'WonBin-hyung' for 3 months

* Eunhyuk and Junsu made a promise when they were younger not to drink and smoke

* Eunhyuk's favourite sport is soccer

* When Hyuk and Junsu were younger, they joined a beauty competition where all of the contestants were males acted as girls

* Hyuk has been Xiah Junsu's best friend since childhood

* Hyuk calls himself 'a jewel guy'

* Hyuk is the dirtiest and the smelliest member in SJ

* Eunhyuk shaves his legs in order to keep his idol image

* Eunhyuk is called Peterpan by Heechul. Fyi, Heechul has his own Disney name of all SJ members

Rilakkuma Store

I always want to go to this place T_T. If only I can go there, I would buy lots of rilakkuma :D

Kyuhyun in Paprika Style XD

Facts about Cho Kyuhyun (My idol)

This is some facts about Kyuhyun. I don't really know the details but here it goes :D
* When he was in college, there was a period when he was pretty chubby because he ate a lot. Then he went on a diet and become as skinny as Eunhyuk!
* After the car accident, he lost 20 kg!
* His family consists of his parents and older sister. His family dotes Kyu a lot but they are very strict towards his sister XD
* When he sleeps, he snores really loudly, maybe he even drool (LOL)

Funny Daily-Life Incidents:
* When he wanted to cooked a ramen for his hyungs, he added to much water and it became too bland. That was how the Han Geng Ramen became famous XD
* He isn't good at cooking, when he tried to fry some ham he added sesame oil instead of cooking oil XD
* Children always put their socks in front of their beds to wait for santa's presents. Kyuhyun wanted a bigger presents so he hung his pants instead of socks (lol he's such a smart as*)
* He loves to play games, he discussed games with his friends. He even said that he had no allowance so that he can stay at home to play games instead of going out with them.
* He really loves drama, he follows an 81 episodes drama. The episodes is out once per 10 month. (wow that's why he's dramakyu)
* He has a glib tongue, which no one can beat even Kangin can't beat him.

That's all XD