Random: 2011

I'm not feeling well these days, I can't stop thinking about my problems. Well, I'm that type of person, I want to kill my feelings. It's better that way. The me now, I can't trust anyone. I only believe in my family and myself. It's better to count on yourself than to other people right. I'm tired of myself, it feels like the one who cause many problems is me, myself because of my negative thinking type of mind, I never live peacefully these days. I want to kill my feelings, I'll only love my family and myself. You know why? Because people change, when I was in grade 7 I'm really happy. That was the time when I was close to one of my friends, which I call her my best friend. I really2 love her and I think that we would be able to keep our friendship till we're old but people do change. I never thought that we're not close anymore even though we're still in grade 9. Our friendship only last 2 years. We're not in a fight now, but something interrupted our friendship. It's just a hobby, that's the problem. We had different types of liking and there was also the time when I felt awkward around her. Then I talk to her about it, and we made up but she found some people with the same type of liking like her so I think she's closer to them than to me. Maybe because we didn't know what to talk about but still, she's different than the one I know before. I know that our relationship won't came back. I already tried to understand her, but it seems like it's only me who love her. I don't think she feels the same way about me. To be honest, I still love her but I don't know how to express it. People change, you can't trust people, that's the thing I know. You can't predict people, I'm also aware of that. There was also the time when I love this woman because she's wise and all but you know she's betraying my mother and I don't predict that a person like her would do that. I've experiences many things and they're just unpredictable. I never expect good people like them to do that. I only trust my family because I know that they won't do such things. They know me so well, but people out there, they just don't know about me and my real character. There was also this problem, there was one person whom I can't describe her. She's just to weird, she acts according to her mood, and always seems to mad at me without reasons. That's weird, and I always feel uneasy about it. Oh please!! I just want to kill my feelings, live a peaceful life, and do my missions in school! I don't need to fall in love and that kind of troublesome relationship for now. I'm sure the time will come later when I will find someone whom I love and trust. Later when I grow up, I'm sure. For now I just need to study well. Friends are only friends, they come and go. I won't be with them forever and I can choose whether I want to be friends with them or not but for parents, I can't choose. I'm lucky to have been born in this kind of family. They're loving and full of laughs. Well, I need friends but I don't want to be close to them. I want to do things by myself but they have to respect and be at peace with me, that's what I want. I have to learn to do things to protect myself, doing things by myself, and count on myself. The only things in this world you can trust the most is yourself and your family (different for each person). How can I make people respect me and be at peace to me? I'll find the answer. First I need to kill my feelings and less caring about other people. It doesn't matter what they say or think about me. Like the hell I care about that! I don't give a damn for such things It's not important. What's important to me is the present and my future, about how can I make a happy and peaceful life. A good future still waiting for me.

Random

Saturday, February 12, 2011

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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Rilakkuma Stuffs